


The Bleeding Heart of Ben Solo

by bypassedthecompressor



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics)
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, F/M, Jedi Ben Solo, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, POV Kylo Ren, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:27:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22889188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bypassedthecompressor/pseuds/bypassedthecompressor
Summary: The life of Ben Solo as he deals with a bunch of horrible shit and falls into darkness.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	The Bleeding Heart of Ben Solo

**Author's Note:**

> Pretending that this is Ben using his calligraphy set to write out his thoughts.
> 
> I wrote this shortly after seeing TROS and finally decided to publish it on here. The next one will be happy, because fuck the ending we got.

I don’t know who I am. I don't know why I feel this way.

I want to be free, but my hands are tied, my legs are bound.

I am pushed and pulled in opposing directions.

Maybe...

Maybe, I am a monster.

I don’t want to believe it.

I love my family. And they love me.

But the voices.

The voices in my head tell me that I am worth nothing to them. The voices tell me that they fear me. They’re angry with me. They hate me.

So I must be a monster.

I know my parents believe it. I can feel that my uncle believes it.

Even though my family will give up on me, the voices reassure me that there’s something more to my destiny.

My grandfather’s ghost tells me my fate is with the shadows. He shows me power that I’ve never felt before. 

But still, I love my mom and my dad. I love my uncle.

And though they have shaped my path for me, I accept it. I can become a Jedi like my uncle. And then later on, when I'm older, I can fly like my dad.

I love them…

Until it’s clear that they don’t love me.

My uncle wants to kill me. He must’ve always believed I was a monster.

My parents threw me away. I am worth nothing to them.

I am nothing.

My family fears me. My family hates me.

Why?

I don’t deserve them.

I’m nothing but a monster. Of course, they don’t want me.

The voices in my head grow louder, stronger. They tell me to give in.

They tell me that this day was coming, and I never had a choice.

But now, I do.

My destiny is my own.

The shadows welcome me. I become powerful. I become my own person.

I destroy the weakness inside of me.

Now, I can show my family why they feared me. I can make them suffer for everything they did to me.

But with each step I take into the darkness, with each step that draws me closer to my family, I feel a war raging inside of me.

Part of me is called to the stars. Part of me is pulled into the cold blackness of space.

And the person in between the two, the person I’ve tried so hard to destroy, screams in agony.

I take the fist of Kylo Ren and pound it into the heart of Ben Solo.

I take the mask of Kylo Ren and hide my bleeding heart behind it.

I am trapped inside a monster.

I am lost inside a labyrinth.

This maze of light and dark is confusing, disorienting. The paths are twisted and gnarled.

I can’t walk through it.

I can't find my way.

Until…

Someone.

Someone far away.

I can feel her.

A girl.

Who is she?

Is she…

Is she like me?


End file.
